Your Emotional Affair - Bring It To A Close!
Posted: Thursday, November 25, 2010
by Ruth Stewart
http://www.ruthstewartmarketing.com
Your heart is beating faster each time you glance at your phone to see if he has text. Every few minutes you check to make sure your phone is on silent so nobody knows your secret, no-one suspects anything wrong. Butterflies flit all round your stomach, and then you hear the familiar buzzz of your phone! You see the word Sue. Your own personal code for the love of your life!
Maybe you have tried to end the emotional affair, and just be friends. You have invested so much emotion, so much time now........he knows you inside out. That means he knows all the right buttons to press, to make you come running back to him.
The fact that it is not right to have an emotional affair has not escaped your notice. It is probably worse than a physical affair in some ways, because it cannot be right to share that innermost place in your heart with another man.
Do you remember a time when you were completely in love with your husband or partner, when you just enjoyed spending time with him, and you felt that you couldn't be happier? You can go back to that place, to that feeling. You know it was fantastic, you were full of love and dreams, you felt happy in your role as wife to him. The wonderful feelings you had have not disappeared forever, you can be happy with him again.
But ultimately...
What can you do to end the affair?
•You need to cut off contact with your emotional affair. That has to be totally. If you work in the same office, try to get a transfer, or at least make sure you are on different projects. If necessary speak to someone in human resources, but make sure you are away from him as much as possible.
•It is essential to confess to your husband or partner. Yes, it is very difficult. But remember, the blame is not all yours. In happy fulfilled relationships, people avoid emotional infidelity. The object of your emotional infidelity was fulfilling a need that you have, and it was not being fulfilled in your marriage. You need to think deeply about this, think of a way to explain it to your partner or husband so that he understands, but without apportioning blame.
•You need to be aware that this is a painful thing that you are going to have to go through. There will be emotional pain as you will not have that emotional crutch you have in the object of your affair. Physical pain can result from this too. This is because you have become addicted to the emotional "high" of hearing from him, the excitement. Know that it will happen to you.
*You will also have to grieve the emotional infidelity. It provided a need for you. You enjoyed it. But the end results are not worth it. It is truly not worth giving up your relationship for this other person. So do allow yourself the time to grieve.
While you are going through the four steps above you will need to be putting more emphasis on working on your marriage.
There are lots of tips and tactics that go along with that, but you can appreciate they are too many for the scope of this article. To discover more about emotional infidelity and how to make up with your partner, you must visit http://www.savemarriagesecrets.org If you would like to discover one woman's experience of emotional infidelity, you must click the link Emotional Affair
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